How to Help a Friend
It can be extremely difficult to know what to do when you suspect someone you care about may have an eating disorder.
It is important to know that you cannot force someone to seek help, change their habits, or adjust their attitudes. But you can make progress with them by honestly sharing your concerns, providing support, and pointing them towards more information.
You may be afraid of saying the "wrong" thing, making the problem worse, or making your friend angry with you.
However you decide to approach the problem, the most important thing is to communicate to your friend how much you care about him/her.
Here are some tips you may find useful for trying to help a friend with an eating disorder or body image issue:
- First educate yourself about eating disorders. That way, if they have questions, you can help to answer them.
- Plan the intervention carefully: who should be there, what you'll say, what time and place.
- Don't criticize, accuse, or dwell on weight/appearance, as this could inadvertently reinforce the disorder.
- Use “I” statements such as “I’m really concerned that you don’t seem to eat during meals,” as opposed to “You aren’t eating anything!” This latter example has the potential to drive the person further into isolation and shame and further from seeking help.
- You may notice resistance or denial of the problem.
- Acknowledge his/her fears.
- Avoid giving simple solutions ("If you'd just stop, everything will be fine!")
- Encourage professional help. It might be a good idea to have some resource numbers ready.
- Show caring and continued friendship (don’t threaten to withdraw your friendship if they refuse help).
- Keep trying!! You never know at what moment they may be more receptive to getting help.
- Get support for yourself if you find you are becoming stressed/upset in trying to help your friend.
The University of Florida Eating Disorders Program strives to bring the best care to our students. If you or someone you know might be suffering from an eating disorder or body image disturbance, we are here to help. Most services are covered under the health fee paid in your tuition. Other fees may apply. For appointments or more information, call Student Mental Health Services to set up an appointment at (352) 392-1171.
